Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
