i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
