i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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