dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
