Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i drank out of a bidet.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
