Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
