I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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