I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
