I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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