Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
