great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
