Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Randomize
