does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
