Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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