They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
