ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
This is the high leading the old right now
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
