I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
i love accidental penises.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
