i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
