The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
