You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
