I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
