just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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