my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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