Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
