one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
