the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
it was like eating out sand paper
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
