Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
i think my cat just said my name.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
