everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
