When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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