This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
