HIV tests are more positive than that guy
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
