The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
