K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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