Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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