girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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