Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
