i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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