Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
