Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
