I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Randomize
