It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
