Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
