i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
