...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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