I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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