She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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