my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
