He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
