It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
