Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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