You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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