Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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