My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
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