i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
