Walk of Shame. In a state park.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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