Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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