ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
