Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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