I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
