It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
