Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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